To anyone in a toxic relationship...especially when you know the Bible. Don't get stuck on one verse like: "Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" and consequently think you have to stay. God loves you much more than that!...via Dr. Henry Cloud:
"Hope is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. With hope, we can endure almost anything, and certainly more than if we lose it or don't have it to begin with. In short, hope keeps us going. And that is the problem.
Hope is designed to give us more time, so that whatever we are hoping for can come to pass. But because that is what hope does for us - buys more time and spends it - it sometimes creates problems if we are not in touch with reality. In that case, it is hope that keeps us going down the road that has no realistic chance of being the right road or making what we want come to pass. In a false reality, hope is the worst quality you can have.
If you’re in a relationship or a marriage with someone who displays unsafe habits, and you hope for them to change, what reason do you have for that? If you are considering going back to anything that did not work before, look at three categories of possible change and ask yourself these questions.
1. Am I different in some way that would make this work? If you are going back to a job, person, relationship, town, or whatever, there must be something different in you if you want to make something work that didn’t work before.
2. Is the other person different in some way that would make this work? Forgive people freely for the past. But in order to trust them for the future, you need to see tangible changes.
3. Is the situation fundamentally different in some way that would make this work? There must be some real change in the situation that would make it work.
Here’s the bottom line: It’s time to take a close look at reality. You know what the relationship or situation was before, so if you do not want what you left, make sure you are going back to something different – either in you, the other person or people, or the situation. Otherwise, you are doing the same thing expecting different results ... and that is the pattern you want to change."