When you are able to learn this, you reach a whole new level!
Founder, Voices of Change 2018 • Mom • Wife •
First-time Author • Speaker • Advocate • Survivor
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In 2019, I began writing my first book. The motivation for the book came from my personal journey after both my children were sexually abused/assaulted. Going through the experiences of their cases and seeing how difficult things are, I wanted to share insight and encouragement to others. It is a long, emotional road. A road, many give up on because of the lengthy processes currently in place. I want to encourage people not to give up and to keep moving forward, no matter how long things may take. However, I also am the victim of emotional, verbal and mental abuse from my first marriage, so I also write about my experiences as a survivor of domestic abuse. Because of this abuse, I have suffered greatly with extremely low self-esteem, self-worth, no confidence and thinking that I have never been good enough. I share how I hit rock bottom, dealing with depression, loneliness and anxiety and my personal comeback to help and inspire others.
After my son disclosed being sexually abused a second time, my depression became so bad, I had many thoughts of ending my own life. I didn’t know how I was going to go on given everything that was being thrown my way and very little support. When I had to leave the house, I became a master at painting on a smile to cover up the amount of sadness I felt deep inside. I prayed, a lot. Asking for guidance, strength and courage to continue forward. Each night I would pray that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning.
One morning, with a bottle of pills in my hand, and my husband holding me, scared out of his mind of how everything was affecting me, and what we were going to do; I made a promise and a decision that I was going to get through everything. I knew deep inside I had too much to live for, my two beautiful children and my amazing husband, the love of my life. I wasn’t going to let the past ruin my future anymore!
I couldn’t give up. I had to get myself the help I needed while helping my children. I didn’t realize I have been suffering from PTSD from all the years of abuse. As the unfortunate events unraveled with my children, so did the haunting memories of my past. Many things I have gone through, I chose to forget about because the pain was too traumatic. In doing so, I hadn’t faced these demons and they were still haunting me.