New Wave Feminists

New Wave Feminists Feminism focused on the human dignity of all people, from the womb to the tomb. http://newwavefeminists.com/ Society spends so much time breaking women down.

Operating as usual

11/16/2021

Today it came to light that a local leader in the prolife movement had an affair.

An article was written about it, and honestly, should have been written about it, because it was more than just a personal matter. It crossed over into business dealings, and possible donor fraud.

It’s a mess.

I’ve seen a number of people share the exceptionally thorough article about it on social media, and I get it. But I’ve also seen a certain level of delight accompanying most of the shares. They’re passing it along with an air of, “Look at this hypocrite, talking about “family values” and then doing something like this - we got him!”

And because he’s from Texas, numerous people sent it to me, personally.

Here’s the deal though, I know him. And I know his wife. His wife is a phenomenal person and someone who helped me quite a bit with my recovery from alcohol. She cheered me on, encouraged me, the whole 9 yards.

I’m not saying it was wrong to write the article. It wasn’t. It needed to come to light. But it’s also incredibly sad.

The brokenness in their marriage is now on full display for the world to gawk at. One of hardest things they’ve likely ever been through is up for public consumption, as entertainment for those who didn’t like them because of their activism and involvement in the movement.

Politically, I disagreed with this couple, like, a lot. I don’t support their strategies, and they were very upset with an op ed I published a few years back about how I voted.

But as humans? They are good people.

Good like the rest of us.

Flawed like the rest of us.

Broken like the rest of us.

Human like the rest of us.

And I think we sometimes forget that. In a day and age where we trade celebrity gossip as if it’s currency, we forget the humans who’s lives are being impacted by it, even if it’s happening rightfully so.

I, personally, have been unfaithful in my marriage. I don’t talk about it often out of respect for my husband, because while it’s a wound that heals, there will always be a tender scar there. It’s private, but not a secret. Whenever I feel led to mention it out loud, even though half the time I don’t know why I just did, a woman at the end of the table, or on the other side of the screen, will share with me that she’s been through the same thing in her own marriage. Sometimes she was the one at fault, sometimes it was her partner, but every single time she’ll ask me how my husband and I got through it. We’re hardly experts, but we’re a few steps ahead, and I’m often able to offer some useful advice.

Thankfully, I don’t run a “ministry” or a “family values” type organization. I’m not a religious leader or politician who professes a Christian faith. And my transgressions certainly never compromised the integrity of NWF or our donors… just my own.

But I know the brutal pain my spouse went through because of the terrible choices I made. And I could not even begin to imagine how devastating it would be to have to watch him see the sheer jubilation of others at the lowest point in our relationship.

We would’ve never made it through that. And perhaps this couple won’t. Perhaps they shouldn’t. Both the wife in this situation and my husband deserved so much better.

I’m incredibly fortunate. My husband walked with me, beaten and bruised, through that horrific season of our marriage. But I will never experience glee watching another couple go through it. It’s hell. I know that personally. And oh but for the grace… that could’ve been my marriage so easily.

It wasn’t wrong to write the article. Donors needed to know. The participating parties need to be held accountable. But please don’t forget, especially those of you in the family values crowd, that this is breaking a very real family apart. And that’s never a cause for celebration.

We shouldn’t have to know the people involved, or be guilty of those same transgressions ourselves, to see the humanity of those walking through it. Because if we believe in human dignity from womb to tomb, then when something needs to come to light, we should make sure it does, but also not forget about the very real, very flawed people and marriages on the other side of our screens becoming very broken by it.

From Sophie Trist: “Being the only developed country in the world to offer zero paid leave is not a flex, it's a source ...
11/09/2021

From Sophie Trist: “Being the only developed country in the world to offer zero paid leave is not a flex, it's a source of great shame. Getting time off to recover from childbirth and spending time with your new baby shouldn't be a privilege. Paid leave is pro-family and pro-life.”

"I’m furious. And you should be too.

Do you see this?
See how tiny my babies are here?
See how much they still need me?
See how I still need them?
See how it rips my heart out of my chest to leave them?
See how my body is still broken from being cut open from bringing these perfect creatures earth side?
See how my breasts swell with milk they need every few hours?
See how they depend on me for their every need?

This. This is how tiny they were when I had to go back to work full time. And I’m one of the “lucky ones” because my employer provided me with paid leave.

Parental leave is not a perk, it’s a necessity.

THE USA OFFERS ZERO PAID LEAVE.

The only developed country that ignores the needs of not just mothers, but our future.
That tells us we don’t matter.
Our children don’t matter.
That work is more important than family.
That we have to choose, security or dependance

The global average for paid leave is 29 weeks. My own mother returned to work 2 weeks after my sister was born. TWO WEEKS. She wasn’t even cleared to exercise, but had to leave her baby to feed our family.

If you are a woman, love a woman, a son, a father, a husband, a brother, YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY TOO.

Legislators, when are you going to realize we can be even more powerful when we start valuing women, families and children?!

This isn’t over. There are too many of us. We can do this. We can make change. Try and shove us down all you want…

✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
We won’t give up. We will keep coming. We will keep speaking out. We won’t be silenced.
✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻

We are worth it. Our children are worth it.

Get mad. And then get motivated."

📸: @ivf_got_twins_plus1

This whole skit seemed odd… and really sad. 😔The lengths SNL had to go to in order to make abortion “palatable” felt biz...
11/08/2021
Weekend Update: Goober the Clown on Abortion - SNL

This whole skit seemed odd… and really sad. 😔

The lengths SNL had to go to in order to make abortion “palatable” felt bizarrely forced, and as a friend put it, “I feel someone failed her.”

Like, yeah, it was about “clown abortion,” but was it really? It appeared more like Cecily Strong was telling her own story of having to sacrifice her child in order to have the career she has now. I think she’s amazing and brilliantly funny, but instead of laughing, my heart was breaking for her throughout this whole skit… and it was also breaking for all the little girls who will see this and hear, “You can’t actually have it all. Making it big on SNL could cost you your child.”

Maybe I’m wrong. Idk her story. But that was my take away. We have to do better by women in comedy and in this country. While she’s incredibly funny and talented, I don’t think Cecily Strong’s a “clown.” I agree with my friend, she’s a woman who was failed at some point.

Goober the clown (Cecily Strong) stops by Weekend Update to discuss abortion.Saturday Night Live. Stream now on Peacock: https://bit.ly/3j1IRUkSubscribe to ...

*require 🤦🏻‍♀️ I will never have an Instagram comment that doesn’t have at least one typo. 😂 But whatevs, y’all get the ...
11/04/2021

*require 🤦🏻‍♀️

I will never have an Instagram comment that doesn’t have at least one typo. 😂 But whatevs, y’all get the gist.

*require 🤦🏻‍♀️

I will never have an Instagram comment that doesn’t have at least one typo. 😂 But whatevs, y’all get the gist.

“So many women facing a terminal diagnosis do so alone. They suffer greatly, unjustly deprived of a supportive community...
11/02/2021
After my unborn son's fatal diagnosis, doctors seemed determined to change my 'choice'

“So many women facing a terminal diagnosis do so alone. They suffer greatly, unjustly deprived of a supportive community. Too often that injustice begins in the doctor’s office, where women are berated with so-called choices but in reality left feeling as if they only have one.”

I was in the dark shadows of the ultrasound room when I first heard the words 'incompatible with life.' I didn’t understand. He was already alive.

Y’all wanna hear a story about the craziest day of my life ever? Cool, cool.9:30am: Karina and I were getting ready for ...
10/27/2021

Y’all wanna hear a story about the craziest day of my life ever?

Cool, cool.

9:30am: Karina and I were getting ready for our first ever pitch meeting for our pipe dream of a shelter in Juárez, MX.

We were both nervous because we’ve never had to pitch anything in our lives, let alone something this important. But I reminded her we could totally tank this one, it’s not a big deal, because nobody gets it right on their first try. I say, “Just think of it like a ‘practice’ pitch. Don’t stress over it. If we’re suppose to have this shelter, the money will come. If not, then maybe it’s not meant for us.”

This thought makes both of us v sad.

10am: We do the pitch. I talk way too much. Karina is brilliant as always, and shares the most poignant and perfect stories explaining the needs at the border and her plans to meet them. I mention multiple time how I’m the world’s worst fundraiser and when asked what my “fundraising plan” is, I ramble off something about “memes on Instagram.”

11:30: We get off the call and are LOSING OUR EVERLOVIN’ MINDS because this couple just committed to giving us up to HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR IN A MATCHING DONATION!!!

11:30-3:00: Neither of us can believe what just happened. We walk through the world in a daze. It’s all a blur. My face literally hurts from smiling so much. The Bomb Shelter suddenly moves from the “pipe dream” category to the “HOLY CRAP, WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE DOING THIS” category.

3:00-3:30: I start thinking up ridiculous campaign ideas for how we can motivate y’all to give us money to match this donation. Most of them are parodies of “Squid Games,” starring our board. We get Marcia to agree to the NWF Squid Games. Patrick is still on the fence.

3:30: I go to pick up my son from school. I get there 30 minutes early. The WiFi is bad in front of the school. I’m v bored. I decide to call a friend and tell her about this crazy coincidence that came up with the donors which I took as a major sign. It’s all woowoo and mystical - right up her alley. She doesn’t answer. I leave a message.

4:00: My friend calls back. I’m now at the grocery store with my kiddo. I tell her the woowoo story and she loves it. I’m about to get off the phone with her when she says, “Wait, while I have you on the phone, y’all are still trying to raising the matching fund amount tho, right?” I smile to myself at the thought of the NWF Squid Games I’ve cooked up and tell her, yes, but I have a plan, so my call was strictly to tell her about the weird coincidental story and that I don’t want her donating, that’s not why I reached out. And as if she’s just ordering a veggie burger from a drive-thru, she casually says, “No, I know you weren’t, but go ahead and put us down for that matching hundred thousand.” 😳

WHAT?!? LIKE, WHAAAAAATTTTT?!?

4:10: I go catatonic. My spirit leaves my body and I’m floating above myself saying, “Go back, Destiny, go back… you have to say something, you’re making this weird.” I spend the next five minutes trying to convince her not to give us the money because that’s waaaaaay too much. She insists. I say no. She insists some more. I start to say no some more, then feel the phantom arms of my board members reaching through time and space to cover my mouth, and as they do I hear them softly whisper, “Just say ‘thank you’ and hang up the phone right now, Destiny!”

I do what the time traveling spirits of my board members say.

4:15: I call Karina from the shampoo aisle at Kroger’s and we both scream uncontrollably at each other.

5:00: I have to call the couple from this morning and apologize for somehow matching their donation in 6 hours flat. I feel like a pool shark who hustled them into this by swearing I was the world’s worst fundraiser ever, then accidentally raising $200,000 in a single day.

They forgive me and my spirit leaves my body again, but this time it’s not returning for at least a week because I’m legit just gonna chill up here on Cloud 9 until I’m forced by my children (probably) to come back down and live in my body again where I can feed them and do laundry and stuff because they’ll be out of underwear.

{And Scene}

That’s the story of the craziest day I’ve ever had.*

*so far

Read more about The Bomb Shelter here:
https://www.newwavefeminists.com/thebombshelter

Y’all wanna hear a story about the craziest day of my life ever?

Cool, cool.

9:30am: Karina and I were getting ready for our first ever pitch meeting for our pipe dream of a shelter in Juárez, MX.

We were both nervous because we’ve never had to pitch anything in our lives, let alone something this important. But I reminded her we could totally tank this one, it’s not a big deal, because nobody gets it right on their first try. I say, “Just think of it like a ‘practice’ pitch. Don’t stress over it. If we’re suppose to have this shelter, the money will come. If not, then maybe it’s not meant for us.”

This thought makes both of us v sad.

10am: We do the pitch. I talk way too much. Karina is brilliant as always, and shares the most poignant and perfect stories explaining the needs at the border and her plans to meet them. I mention multiple time how I’m the world’s worst fundraiser and when asked what my “fundraising plan” is, I ramble off something about “memes on Instagram.”

11:30: We get off the call and are LOSING OUR EVERLOVIN’ MINDS because this couple just committed to giving us up to HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR IN A MATCHING DONATION!!!

11:30-3:00: Neither of us can believe what just happened. We walk through the world in a daze. It’s all a blur. My face literally hurts from smiling so much. The Bomb Shelter suddenly moves from the “pipe dream” category to the “HOLY CRAP, WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE DOING THIS” category.

3:00-3:30: I start thinking up ridiculous campaign ideas for how we can motivate y’all to give us money to match this donation. Most of them are parodies of “Squid Games,” starring our board. We get Marcia to agree to the NWF Squid Games. Patrick is still on the fence.

3:30: I go to pick up my son from school. I get there 30 minutes early. The WiFi is bad in front of the school. I’m v bored. I decide to call a friend and tell her about this crazy coincidence that came up with the donors which I took as a major sign. It’s all woowoo and mystical - right up her alley. She doesn’t answer. I leave a message.

4:00: My friend calls back. I’m now at the grocery store with my kiddo. I tell her the woowoo story and she loves it. I’m about to get off the phone with her when she says, “Wait, while I have you on the phone, y’all are still trying to raising the matching fund amount tho, right?” I smile to myself at the thought of the NWF Squid Games I’ve cooked up and tell her, yes, but I have a plan, so my call was strictly to tell her about the weird coincidental story and that I don’t want her donating, that’s not why I reached out. And as if she’s just ordering a veggie burger from a drive-thru, she casually says, “No, I know you weren’t, but go ahead and put us down for that matching hundred thousand.” 😳

WHAT?!? LIKE, WHAAAAAATTTTT?!?

4:10: I go catatonic. My spirit leaves my body and I’m floating above myself saying, “Go back, Destiny, go back… you have to say something, you’re making this weird.” I spend the next five minutes trying to convince her not to give us the money because that’s waaaaaay too much. She insists. I say no. She insists some more. I start to say no some more, then feel the phantom arms of my board members reaching through time and space to cover my mouth, and as they do I hear them softly whisper, “Just say ‘thank you’ and hang up the phone right now, Destiny!”

I do what the time traveling spirits of my board members say.

4:15: I call Karina from the shampoo aisle at Kroger’s and we both scream uncontrollably at each other.

5:00: I have to call the couple from this morning and apologize for somehow matching their donation in 6 hours flat. I feel like a pool shark who hustled them into this by swearing I was the world’s worst fundraiser ever, then accidentally raising $200,000 in a single day.

They forgive me and my spirit leaves my body again, but this time it’s not returning for at least a week because I’m legit just gonna chill up here on Cloud 9 until I’m forced by my children (probably) to come back down and live in my body again where I can feed them and do laundry and stuff because they’ll be out of underwear.

{And Scene}

That’s the story of the craziest day I’ve ever had.*

*so far

Read more about The Bomb Shelter here:
https://www.newwavefeminists.com/thebombshelter

My quarantine’s officially ended, but I started binging this show on my last day of being a homebound potato. I’ll be ho...
10/23/2021
MAID | Official Trailer | Netflix

My quarantine’s officially ended, but I started binging this show on my last day of being a homebound potato. I’ll be honest, I had to take A LOOOOOT of breaks during it. It’s real and triggering AF (and y’all know I don’t use that word lightly). They do such a great job of depicting DV and the struggle of signal motherhood in America. Almost too good of a job, which is why it’s so hard to watch. I finally finished it last night tho, and I have to say, I’m so glad I stuck with it. I was bawling my eyes out by the end. It’s everything. People need to know how hard it is for women, but also how worth it is to leave an abusive relationship. There’s hope and it takes a village to get there.

One young mother's incredible story of survival and resilience as she navigates the world of poverty, abuse and redefining her worth against all odds. Inspir...

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Amazing article. Please share to those that insist on the convenient cliche that pro-lifers care only about the baby and only before it's born. People like this couple exist by the thousands and the grassroots pro-lifers are not the idiot politicians that are idiots for many reasons, not just this hypocrisy. “I always said abortion is the lack of an option,” Haring said. “They feel like they have nowhere to go, that there’s nobody for them. It’s about the help. It’s about being there for them.”
This article showed up in my Apple newsfeed today, and I was so happy to see this published by USA Today. Thought this was something the rest of this group might appreciate as well.
Are you kidding me!!?
I wrote this about events that are going to be happening in many cities today. I hope it leads to some deep reflection on what has really been done to so many of us. Let the healing start. https://www.lifenews.com/2021/10/01/the-womens-march-ignores-the-truth-that-women-dont-need-abortion/?fbclid=IwAR1Vn4uxxV8_WOn16ZYyJ750qRxcvnYte4U9d76j5nL0cPI2CtR_0yD6V5A
Please sign! You don't have to be Catholic.
Very good debate. Highly recommend.
Join the revolution! Rehumanize International Pro-Life San Francisco New Wave Feminists Young Pro-Life Democrats Feminists Choosing Life Terrisa Bukovinac’s new Progressive Pro-Life initiative (To be announced the day before the counter protest) And countless other Pro-Life Feminist Organizations will be partnering with Take Feminism Back to make it clear we will not stand for violence against the unborn, especially in the name of feminism. We MUST show opposition to the Women's March and Planned Parenthood march that cannot be ignored! Registration is free and we would love to see you there. RSVP right here: https://bit.ly/3hTuP8y Bring a sign - Bring a mask - Bring your voice
Join us for this Bystander Intervention Workshop for men on 20 November. Limited tickets are available by donation on Eventbrite