12/23/2020
We will be closed and taking some offline time from Thursday, December 24th until the 4th of January. We’re wishing you all a peaceful and safe holiday season, see you in the new year!
Bereaved Families of Ontario -Toronto
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Bereaved helping the bereaved learn to live with grief. We can help the healing begin. Bereaved Families of Ontario – Toronto is a local charitable organization that seeks to inspire hope and transformation in people who are grieving the death of a loved one.
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We are a community who has the courage to share and explore grief, and be a beacon of hope for the future.
We are a community who has the courage to share and explore grief, and be a beacon of hope for the future.
Mission: Our mission is to inspire hope and healing in grieving individuals so they may better process and cope with the death of a loved one.
Operating as usual
12/22/2020
Maxxine Rattner and Marney Thompson: There is no vaccine for grief
Maxxine Rattner and Marney Thompson: There is no vaccine for grief
A national grief strategy will help to prevent the serious mental health outcomes that can occur when there are factors that complicate a grief process.
12/19/2020
Art by @tristamateer
12/16/2020
Via @griefuncovered
12/14/2020
Via @refugeingrief
12/12/2020
Reminder for you on this grey + rainy Saturday. Art by @revelatori
12/09/2020
Via @griefuncovered
12/08/2020
Art by @theimaginarylibrary
12/06/2020
12/03/2020
Every year, we adorn trees with tags that hold the names of our loved ones and put them on display in Toronto City Hall’s rotunda. While Trees of Light will not occur in-person at City Hall this year, we invite you to join us for a virtual celebration of our loved ones. For more information, and to register: https://www.bfotoronto.ca/trees-of-light/
12/03/2020
The holidays can be a very lonely time for those who are grieving. At this time of year, those empty seats at the table can be particularly painful. We hope you are able to connect either virtually, or safely in person with loved ones this month and take time to remember those who are no longer here. Art by @theimaginarylibrary
12/03/2020
Via @thegriefcase
11/28/2020
Andrea Warnick Consulting
#Repost @nytopinion
• • • • • •
Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex, spoke publicly for the first time about the miscarriage she experienced this summer. "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few," she writes. This year has brought loss and pain to every one of us, and we're embarking on a holiday where many of us are away from family, some are "alone, sick, scared, divided and perhaps struggling to find something, anything, to be grateful for." In this new normal, Meghan suggests committing to asking one another a question: "Are you OK?" Click the link in our bio to read Meghan Markle's full Op-Ed. 📷 Pool photo by Ian Volger. #miscarriage #pregnancyloss #nytopinion
11/26/2020
Art by @comfydarkme
11/25/2020
11/19/2020
It’s #ChildrensGriefAwarenessDay! Keep an eye out for the CN tower all lit up in blue tonight.
11/18/2020
Via @brenebrown
11/14/2020
A vulnerable piece of writing about loss in the time of covid. Via @thegriefcase
11/11/2020
Do you ever dream about your loved one? It can be pleasant, or sometimes quite distressing. Swipe through for some great info from @grief_guide
11/06/2020
By @birthbossco
11/04/2020
Art by @peopleiveloved
11/03/2020
c/o: @optionb
10/30/2020
c/o: @griefuncovered
10/26/2020
Does this sound like you or someone you know? Email [email protected] to apply.
10/24/2020
“We are riding scooters in tutus in memory of Thomas Hollick. Tom would have found the choices entertaining!
Tom died at 16 from brain cancer. He was a light that burnt brightly and was taken way too soon. He was full of love and laughter. And a good measure of mischief too. His resilience and positivity through his cancer journey was quite unbelievable. He attended school every single day he possibly could. He played sports for as long as possible. He maintained his wonderful sense of humor to the last and never stopped being an amazing friend to many. Tom left a very big hole in many people's hearts. 18 months after Tom's death, his Dad joined him, also from cancer. Nigel too was full of1 laughter and mischief and would have found the tutus entertaining.
Harriet and Emily haven't had the support of an organisation like the BFO and that makes me feel even more passionate about fundraising to help as many people as possible through their grief journey.”
10/24/2020
“As we approach the two year anniversary of my dear brother's death, we continually look for ways to remember and honour the bright and colourful soul that he was. Jeff was passionate, beautiful, spirited and kind. He was taken from us long before his time and our hearts will never stop hurting.
This weekend, Duncan, Kaiya, Crew, Beckett and I will all ride in memory of our beloved Jeffers - who loved everything rainbow.”
10/24/2020
“We are running to honour our eldest son and Leo’s big brother, August who was stillborn at 36 weeks in 2016.
My partner and I had difficulty finding support as a couple when we lost our son. BFO was the first to provide us with much needed 1 on 1 support. Speaking with a volunteer who also experienced loss made the wait for professional help easier to bear during the early days of our bereavement. We also attend the Trees of Light every year. We run for BFO so they can continue to provide the type of support we benefitted from in 2016 and continue to find meaning in today.” #BFOT5KMemorial
10/24/2020
Due to the COVID crisis, we’ve had a 35% increase in demand for youth and adult grief support.
10/24/2020
Thanks so much to Councillor @bradfordgrams for helping us get the word out about our #BFOT5KMemorial We’re excited for a great day of outdoor activity!
10/24/2020
BFO-T 5K Memorial Kickoff!
10/18/2020
c/o: @optionb
10/17/2020
We are just over one week away from our Virtual 5K Memorial and we 3/4 of the way to meeting our fundraising goal of $25,000! But we need your help to get there!
BFO-Toronto has experienced a 35% surge in demand for grief support for youth and adult programming as a result of COVID-19.
A donation of $50, $100, $350, $1000 or another amount of your choice will help raise much-needed funds for our additional programming and services.
Pandemic restrictions and the loss of mourning rituals impact the grieving process and when left unaddressed, can result in complex mental health issues. Help BFO-Toronto raise much-needed funds to meet demands for programming by registering for the 5K Memorial OR donating.
$50 will send one individual to a support group (one session).
$100 will pay for an online community event (e.g. writing workshop).
$350 pays for one full session for all attendees in a support group.
$1,000 pays for a volunteer facilitator to be trained.
Every dollar makes a difference!
10/15/2020
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. At 7PM, consider lighting a candle for all the moms, dads, caregivers, brothers and sisters who have lost a little one in their lives. #WaveOfLight #WaveOfLight2020
10/14/2020
A big thank you to LEANSQUAD who have kindly donated a 30 day LEANSQUAD challenge as a prize for our 5K Memorial.
Phil Mackenzie (a former professional rugby player who represented Canada in two rugby world cups) will take the winner through daily 30 minute workouts and stretch/recovery sessions.
Sign up for the #BFOT5KMemorial now for your chance to become a Lean Squaddie (link in bio).
Check out some of the LEANSQUAD before and after photos here:
https://lean-squad.com/
https://www.facebook.com/PhilMackenzie11
https://www.instagram.com/leansquad/
10/13/2020
There is just over one week left to race day, October 24. Have you registered for the #BFOT5KMemorial? It’s not too late! Art by @lilacmoondesign
Address
Suite 202, 250 Merton Street
Toronto, ON
M4S 1B1
Opening Hours
| Monday | 09:00 - 16:00 |
| Tuesday | 09:00 - 16:00 |
| Wednesday | 09:00 - 16:00 |
| Thursday | 09:00 - 16:00 |
| Friday | 09:00 - 16:00 |
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Overdose Awareness Day is on August 31st, 2020. Our friends at Twenty Twenty Arts are organizing a campaign to honour loved ones who have lost their lives to an overdose. To submit a photograph to be included in the Weathered campaign, please e-mail the following to [email protected] + A high-quality photograph of your loved ones shoes and important mementos as a .jpeg + A written description about the image, your loved one, your favourite story about them, anything you want us to know We encourage participants to only share information they feel comfortable being included in the fundraising campaign and on a public digital platform.
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Concerned Friends of Ontario Citizens in Care
140 Merton St -
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Dr. Jay Children's Grief Centre / Camp Erin T
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Polish Orphans Charity, 50 Cumberland St., Att: Dr.Richarda D.Russ
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Comments
I've posted this before, but these holidays can be hard...21 years ago was our last Christmas together....
Is open group happening tonight? I was supposed to get a call at 5 and heard from no one.
"That was beautiful." (Full Circle FB page)
Thank you so much arranging the Trees of Life at City Hall again. I viewed them today, and saw the names of my parents, who passed away about three years ago within 5 1/2 months of each other (though long divorced and remarried). BFO helped pull me through a tough time.
Strength and support to the families impacted by Toronto's latest shooting.
We recently said goodbye to a long time, valued volunteer, Agnes Struik, a Noah Thorek award recipient and a 25 year plus volunteer. Agnes has retired and returned to Alberta to live on her family farm.
Agnes has been an adviser with BFO-Toronto for many years, specializing in our Youth programs, working closely these past few years with our Youth Program Coordinator Ellen Chang.
We would like to recognize all her contributions and dedication to BFO-T over the many years she has been involved. We are truly grateful and wish her all the best in retirement.
Here is a picture of Agnes, Jane and Ellen taken at her farewell party on November 18th.
THE BLOG
The Ghost At The Classroom Door
05/09/2016 17:27 | Updated 04 September 2017
2.6k
Aimee Foster
Mum, writer and beach lover.
DEAN MITCHELL VIA GETTY IMAGES
This week social media is alive with pictures of little children smiling at the school gate, clutching brand new book bags and sporting shiny shoes. Tips for parents on how to cope with their child’s first day, tales of parents who couldn’t wait for this moment and of those who are dreading it fill my news-feed on an hourly basis.
We should be joining them, you and I.
As I drop your big sister off at school for her first day back, I glance at the reception classrooms with trepidation. For the first time I see the classroom your sister inhabited during her reception year in a new light. Knowing we should be among the hub-bub of photos and hugs outside the doors causes an additional kind of sadness to wash over me. This is one I haven’t yet experienced in the spectrum of sorrow you left me with.
For the first time, I see the friends you’ll never have and the mums I’ll never to talk to. Introductions we’ll never make, play-dates we’ll never attend and jokes we’ll never share. These friendships hang in the air like a fine mist. They are an invisible curtain of abstract words and experiences hanging over the playground.
Until now, these people have only existed, as you do, in my imagination. Yet suddenly here they are. I can actually see them. If life had been kinder to us, we would be with them on their first day of school and part of their lives from today onward.
I can almost touch the birthday parties you’ll never attend and Christmas plays I’ll never see you in. Friendships will bloom without your input. They’ll never know you were supposed to be there.
I want to run over and tell them all you should be there. I want to meet your teacher and view the spot on the classroom carpet where you should be sitting. I feel angry that you’ve been robbed of your rightful place yet again. A kaleidoscope of missed experiences unfolds before me, running like a river through my heart.
Of course, I’ll look like a mad woman if I go over there. Some days grief makes you mad, to an extent that’s hard for others to understand.
As I see tiny child after tiny child enter their new classroom, I wonder how you would have fared on your first day. Would you be one of the bounders, running in without a backwards glance, or a leg clinger - unable to let go of me? Perhaps you would take after your sister who was a mixture of the two? The few hours we spent together during your only day of life didn’t leave me with any answers to these and many more questions.
I don’t even know what you would look like in your royal blue cardigan and grey dress. I imagine your hair and eyes to be dark, as they were during your short life. I picture a cheeky grin and an air of confidence about you as you wave me off.
And suddenly, there you are. The ghost at the classroom door.
You were notably absent from our first-day-of-school photos this morning. You should have been arm-in-arm with your sister and brother. A stab of guilt slices through me as it so often does when I think about you. Would your brother even be in those photos if you were? Would he even exist? I tell myself to abandon this guilt-filled conundrum for the time being. The answer lies just beyond my reach.
There is a hole in all our family photos, a gap where you should take your place. A voice missing when your brother and sister laugh together and a pair of legs which doesn’t quite keep up with them when they run and play. A shadow with human form joins in with all our endeavors. Your presence grows stronger with our desire for you to be part of it all.
2016-09-04-1472967587-6102111-Running.jpg
Today you are the ghost at the classroom door. Yesterday you were the ghost of our cliff top walk. I felt you careering through the breeze and darting through the long grass as we walked. A different ghost of you exists for every occasion. You are the sunbeam dancing through my window in the morning and a whisper of wind through the trees at night. Expanding, contracting and shifting shape as you fill us with eternal love and regret.
2016-09-04-1472967717-2886103-Clifftop.jpg
I watch the reception teachers chivvy along children and parents alike, completely unaware of the fact there is a name missing from the register. Uniform never purchased and labelled, a lunch box never filled, a hand never to be raised and a pencil never picked up. Your friends embark on this milestone together while, just like first words and first steps, it has passed you by.
As always, for you we can only imagine. We will always imagine.
I wonder how many other mamas are doing the same this morning, how many other children should be starting reception, how many other hearts feel clogged with sorrow. A small army of classroom ghosts who missed out on their first day of school.
So from today onward, I’ll see you there. Smiling and waving from the classroom door as you wait for class to begin.
Aimee Foster is the co-founder of mum friendship website Mum Amie, where she also blogs about parenting, baby loss and well-being.
Follow Aimee Foster on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mum_amie
More: Uk-back-to-school Uk Family
I am a bereaved mother - my oldest son David passed away June 27, 2007. I wrote a book about David that was recently published by Ardent Writer Press.
HEAVEN’S ANIMATOR is an illuminating and candid true story of love, family, loss and messages from the afterlife. This story has the rare emotional combination of humor, sorrow from the loss of a child and hope from signs from the afterlife. The unimaginable loss of a child is chronicled in this story. It is my individual journey of becoming a bereaved parent when my son David suddenly and unexpectedly passed away, with an emphasis on the emotional support from family and other grieving parents. I describe mystical events that convinced me of receiving afterlife messages from David. Discussions with other grieving parents about signs from butterflies and recurring phenomena with music and dreams are recalled by me in this story. David’s philosophy to have fun and live life to the fullest, because life is too short, is inevitable throughout the story and was uniquely illustrated through his comic strips of Boomer Bunny seizing life and acting on every opportunity that he could in each of the comic strips. This true story takes readers on a journey from delightful humor, through the sorrow of child loss to the remarkable comfort of receiving signs from the afterlife.
It is available on amazon.ca
https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/1938667514/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499295271&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=heaven%27s+animator&dpPl=1&dpID=51i4jtjul-L&ref=plSrch
HEAVEN’S ANIMATOR is an illuminating and candid true story of love, family, loss and messages from the afterlife. This story has the rare emotional combination of humor, sorrow from the loss of a child and hope from signs from the afterlife. The unimaginable loss of a child is chronicled in this story. It is my individual journey of becoming a bereaved parent when my son David suddenly and unexpectedly passed away, with an emphasis on the emotional support from family and other grieving parents. I describe mystical events that convinced me of receiving afterlife messages from David. Discussions with other grieving parents about signs from butterflies and recurring phenomena with music and dreams are recalled by me in this story. David’s philosophy to have fun and live life to the fullest, because life is too short, is inevitable throughout the story and was uniquely illustrated through his comic strips of Boomer Bunny seizing life and acting on every opportunity that he could in each of the comic strips. This true story takes readers on a journey from delightful humor, through the sorrow of child loss to the remarkable comfort of receiving signs from the afterlife.
It is available on amazon.ca
https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/1938667514/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499295271&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=heaven%27s+animator&dpPl=1&dpID=51i4jtjul-L&ref=plSrch
I am a bereaved mother - my oldest son David passed away June 27, 2007. I wrote a book about David and it has recently been published by Ardent Writer Press.
HEAVEN’S ANIMATOR is an illuminating and candid true story of love, family, loss and messages from the afterlife. This story has the rare emotional combination of humor, sorrow from the loss of a child and hope from signs from the afterlife. The unimaginable loss of a child is chronicled in this story. It is my individual journey of becoming a bereaved parent when my son David suddenly and unexpectedly passed away, with an emphasis on the emotional support from family and other grieving parents. I describe mystical events that convinced me of receiving afterlife messages from David. Discussions with other grieving parents about signs from butterflies and recurring phenomena with music and dreams are recalled by me in this story. David’s philosophy to have fun and live life to the fullest, because life is too short, is inevitable throughout the story and was uniquely illustrated through his comic strips of Boomer Bunny seizing life and acting on every opportunity that he could in each of the comic strips. This true story takes readers on a journey from delightful humor, through the sorrow of child loss to the remarkable comfort of receiving signs from the afterlife.
It is available on amazon.ca
https://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/1938667514/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499295271&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=heaven%27s+animator&dpPl=1&dpID=51i4jtjul-L&ref=plSrch